Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
