don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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