So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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