I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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