i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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