Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
