apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
