Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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