Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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