I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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