Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
True strength comes from lack of pants
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
