I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So here I am, sexting at work.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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