Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
