Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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