someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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