My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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