like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
