Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize