so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
