Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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