He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
