oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
