it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
