Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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