okay pat passed out under dana's car
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
