the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
