If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think I have vodka in my lungs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
