Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
