I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize