Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
