Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
