i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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