my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
