You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
