Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The best revenge is premature balding
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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