What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
