when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
