Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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