You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
