Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize