weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
