when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
