It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
