it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You took a bar mat shot.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
