he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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