Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
