she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
