I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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