You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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