Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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