Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
