yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
