a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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