so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
