He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
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I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
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i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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