Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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