...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
