Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
