Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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