About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
