she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
