Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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