dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
